me:i dont want to talk about this now so plz just stop trying to get me started
dri:amy com over here
i did and he took me over to my dressing room
me:somthign wrong
dir:yes why your not orking right today somthing bugging u
me:i cant do this ok im go home u can get some one eals to do this
dir:ok fine get changed ima get anna to do it
me:ok
so i got dressed and then i went grabed my keys and other things and walked out and seen her just all on him and then i left to my car when i got to emma house iat down and hung around with mya and ben then i seen jay and rene come in and they sat in the living room were i was with emma and the kids and mya ran to rene
mya:daddy
rene:hey mya
mya:can i come by your house daddy
me:mya i think it time for us to go
mya:aww momma please
me:no ok
rene:come on amy let her come
i went picked her up and then i grabed ben and went to the door and then i got in the car with them and went to my house and she was cryign and screaming for him i yelled at her and she got sceard and went in her room anf ben was already sleep from the car ride so i layed him down and then i went in my room and layed down and then my house phone went off it read rene and amy perez i sighed
me:hello
rene:amy why u do that
me:cus ur never there rene so i dont want them around
rene:i know u miss me amy and the reason y u run from me is cus i know it
me:why u all ways go through this
rene:cus i lover u amy u let me for no reason
me:no u have kids behind my back rene(crying)u lied to me u dont care about me at all all u want me for is to show off
rene:no i dont amy why u want listen to me
me:cus im tired of u rene
rene:i know u love me
me:so what i love u but u hurt me too much i loved u so much i had 3 kids for u and i stayed there but u had tory around and then u had some other bitch coming up to me claiming they had your kid
with that he hung up i just sighed and got changed in somthing i felt nice in so i had on a hald top and and minnie shorts i graned my coat and then droped the kids by my mom
me:hey momma
mom:whats going on
me:nuthing going some where
mom:u and rene still married
me:no but ma im tryign to find some one new
mom:look i told u no one gets better then him
me:look he treated me bad
mom:at least hes not beating u
me:look im going thanks for keepin th e kids
so i left and got in my car and drove to rene houses and then went in and he was on his phone and i just sighed and sat down
rene:ima go ahead and go see u around 1 in the morning i got to finiah packin
he closed his cell and waled to th back
me:i thought u wanted to talk to me rene(going in the back after him)
rene:y u make it so hard to be with me(pulling me close to him)i know u love me and i know u want to gome back home here were u belong i know u feel how i fell in side amy
me:ren(he kissed me)
i looked at him and he closed the door and then went got some sute cases out
rene:what u have to say now amy
me:...ima go home
rene sat on the bed and just gave me this look i turned my head and i wanted to tell him how i felt but somthing was holding me back but i just had to
me:rene i do feel the same way you but
rene:no buts amy plz
me:fine
rene:come on tour with me just u and me
me:i dont know
rene:im not taking no for a answer
me:ok ill go
rene:go pack ill come get u we leave aournd one but ima get u early
me:ok
so i went to my moms house
me:moma can u keep them for a while im going on a tour with rene
mom:yeah just cus it rene but if its some one eals i cant
me:it rene
so i got them some cloths as i packe mines at my house and then when rene came to get me it was around 6 in the evening
me:this is too early
rene:i know btu were going some where
me:let me drop off the kids clothes
so i did and she took them and i left with him he took em to this hide out place and i looked around
me:wow this is pretty
rene:im gitting a house made here in a cupple months
me:o thats good
i walked around and seen a water fall and it was lovly
rne:i want u mya and ben to come with me and stay here
me:i dont know rene
rene:u will have time to make up your mind im not gonna rush u
so we stayed ther and talked longher then i thought then it came to 12 i we head to the studio and then got on the bus and i had to use the same room as rene but we had two beds in there since we were not together so as i was i the room listening to my music and then i seen him come in and sat on his bed and i turned over and looked at him and he smiled then i turned back over when i felt asleep i started to have a really bad dream and i screamed and woke up and grabed my pillow crying and i seen rene sit up he wayed me over and i came to him and he pulled em under the covers with him and i grabed him tight
rene:damn u must me sceard u grabing on me all tight
me:im sorry for waking u
rene:it ok come on lets go back to sleep
so we did when i woke up he was up watcing tv and i turnd and got up and went in the bathroom and changed then i went back in the room and he sat up some i sat on my bed
rene:u ok now
me:yeah so where is the tour going to be in
rene:latian countrys
me:hmm thats sounds good
so we hung out on the buss and then it became dark again and i got tired so i got in my bed and went to sleep
dream
i was in my room at emma's house and then i seen jake come in ahe locked the door and i looked at him sceard and he grabed me and started shaking me and i pushed him then he tryed to get in between my legs but i would not let him so he slamed me down on the bed hard and i screamed as he tryed to get in be tween my legs
me:no! stop it
he pulled my legs and i tryed to kick him and then i woke up and ran i the bathrom and closed the door and sat on the floor and grabed my knees and was shaking i was scearrd of him and i know he wanted me to be when i did leave out i seen rene turnning back over i went and sat on my bed and layed down and tryed not to go to sleep he looked over at me
rene:u ok
me:kinda
rene:y u keep having bad dreams
me:i dont know
rene:u wanna come over here
me:im ok
rene:ok fine u hungry
me:yeah y
rene:just cus im about to get me somthing to eat
so he got up and i walked otu after him
o:i see yall up to i head screaming so i got up
me:sorry
rene:it been two bad nights for her
o:i see
so we all talked and then i layed on the sofa and fell asleep and then i woke up in a cold sweat and looked around it was morning time when i got changed we where at the first hotel so i got my things and we all went to get a room and they were all next to each other so we all had big rooms when i got in the shower i head a know on the door i put my robe on and turned the water off and open it
me:rene what u want
rene:o so i cant come in i see
me:come on
so he sat down
me:u had to pick when i got in the showere
rene:i know so u gonna dance for me
me:rene
rene:ok ok just kidding but were abotu to go eat u wanna come
me:yeah let me get dressed
so i did and then i walk out and met up with them
rene:so where we going
o:i dont know its up to yall
me:dont ask me
so we just picked a place and we all sat at the table and then u seen thsi gurl come up and she looked at me and then rene and then o then she asked for what we wanted looking right at him
rene:yall order
me:ill get w/e u get so o u order
so he did and we all got the same thing
rene:i like this place
me:i see
rene:what u mean
i looked at o and he just shook his head
rene:amy(his kissed my neck and i moved over but he did it again and then girl came with our food and then she got mad cus he was kissing my neck)u gonna talk to me amy
me:nope
he moved closter and i pushed him back and then he seen a purple spot on my back she he moved my shirt
rene:amy who hit u
me:so one i hit my back on the dresser
rene:when
me:i dont remember ok
rene:w/e
so we ate and when i got back tot he hotel he came in mines befor the door closed
rene:amy what happn to your back
me:do u really want to know rene
rene:yes
me:i was raped a beat two months ago i had it covred all this time
rene:who did it
me: (crying)jake emma was gone and he broked in and he came in my room and beat me then raped me emma dont kow eather and the kids were gone
rene:jay was not there
me:no look rene i dont want to talke about it
rene:fine then amy i cont under stand y u hid someting like this
he left and i layed in my bed and then i dosed off but not long after i woke up screamign and crying i looked at the clock it was 2 in the morning i got my room key and left out and then went to rene's room and knocked on the door and then he opened it and i wiped my face and he sighed and took me in and then closed his door and i layed in the bed with him and he kissed my far head and i layed my arm around his waist as he and grabed my leg and pulled me over him
whein i woke up i seen he was up but he still had me on him i looked at him and he kissed me
rene:i see ur up and happy
me:some what
rene/so do u thingk we could try to be together again
me:yea
rene:i thought u would never give in
i smiled
me:well i did
4 months later
the tour was still on and me and rene was in the room laying down talking
me:so when this tour end
rene:cupple months
me:damn rene
rene:what
me:i cant take it that long
rene:take what
me:im carrying 3 months i was gonna wait to tell u but i cant
rene:damn every time
me:i know
he kissed my hand
rene:did u fing otu what it was yet
me:yeah its a she (low)and the other is an he
rene sat up
rene:2
me:yeah
rene:see thats what u get for being sexy _________________ My New BABY
so as soon as we started to kiss more then tour bussed slamed on breacks and we went flying on to the other sid of the room and i was cut deep in my side and i felt dlood runnign every where
me:rene i need to get to the dr now
so he took me and they had to put me to sleep when i woke up renes fae was soke in tears i seen that they had closed my stomach up and i seen tubed every where
me:what happen
rene:where nto having any kids they said if u dotn heal right ur not gonna be able to have any more kids
me:im dorry iw as not paying attion to waht i was doign this is my falt(cryign)
rene:look it wac a little crach ok we gonna be ok
he wiped my face and cleaned my cheek _________________ My New BABY
it been a month i was at home laying down sleeping and rene he just went on with the tour so when i went ing ht eliving room my mom was there wating the kids and gitting ready to leave
mom:u ok
me:yeah it over with ti been happen long time ago
mom:it was only a month ago ok u and rene should try again
me:no i dont under stand do u kids is not all it is a bould
mom:u know if u was to have a nother kid yal would come closter
me:is u out yo mind hes a bout ready to leve me any way he left em when i was pregnet with ben and when i had mya he was nto there what makes u think he would be here this time
mom:im leaving but look all im just saying is rene is a good man and u need the money
me:i lnow him on it not about the money
mom:u know damn well it is
she left i just sat down then an hour later i head the door open and it was rene i looked up at him and he walked passed me and picked up mya and wnet out back
i just folded my legs and sighed while flicking throught channles
ben:momma im hungry
me:ok come on
so i took him in the kicthen and sat him on the counter and fied him a sandwich and then cooked somthing while he ate it when i got done i sat him at the table and put the food down and called mya and rene in when they cmae in we sat at teh table and ate
me:so how was the rest of the trip
he did not looke at me are speak
me:rene
he looked up
rene:im eating
i got up and pushe dhis pood at him and went in the room and slamed the door her got up and walked int here and took his shirt off while i was int he bathroom running me some showere water and he walked in and pushed me and and mad me look at him
rene: trying to be tuff now huh amy
me:no(crying)
rene:huh i cant here u
me:no let me go rene
he slamed me on the wall and i looked at him in the eyes and he let em go and sighed
rene:whats wrong with me
i jsut sat on the floor while the water hit me and he sat next to em and he held me _________________ My New BABY
i was so sceard i could not help but stay bald on the showere floor he turned the water off and tryed to move me btu i stayed crying on the floor
rene:please dont hate me ima go to the help center find otu whats wrong
me:(crying)what i done to get this rene
he just sighed and left out the next day i woke up hurting i heard rene fussing ont he phone then he came in
rene:go fix me some food
me:(sniffing from last night)ok
so i got up still sceard of him and he slaped me hard on the butt and i reacted by pushign him hard and he slamed me on the bed my my neck and i tryed to scream
me:help(gasping)
so as i gasped i closed my eyes slow and then tryed to look at him and he let go qick
rene:shit
so he left to go to the help center when he came back it was 6 months later he had came in and i was sitting ont he sofa on the side he smiled at em some and i looked away he came over and kissed my cheek
rene:whats wrong now amy
me:u think u can just change what happen dont u know anyt hin im still hurt u tuched me
rene:baby
me:fuck u rene
i went in the room and layed down in the bed wheil holding a pillow and then he came in
rene:can we talk about it
me:no
rene:come on i want u to atleast know im sorry i know why i was so stressed
me:if u can give me one reason why u was stressed and 1 damn good reason why i should for give u
rene:cus of the deth of our twins and cus i love u more then any think and u should know i would never want to do it again
mE:..................
rene::baby
me:so it did bother u
rene:yes ok i was trying to stay strong but i got too strong and let my anger sty in i took it out on u
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