Hi my name is shantel better known as shanny or candygurl. I am now 2 1/2 months pregnant by a known drug dealer that goes by the name of shawn. We started talkin back in middle school and were best friends until he asked me to be his gurl. I couldn't turn him down becuz i liked him and he loved me. Everything was goin good until he started stayin out late in the wee hours of the morning. Before we met............
Baq In Middle School
me(walkin down the hallway when this boy bumped into me) excuse you
boy-o i apoligize my name is shawn and you are
me-shantel
shawn-ok well i'm sorry for bumpin into you i'm just kind of in a hurry to get somewhere
boy(yellin) aye shawn come on man leave dat gurl alone they bout to leave us
shawn(yellin baq) aiight here i come (to me) so i'll see you later at lunch ok
me-ok
he walked away and thats when i fell in love he smelled so good and had very pretty eyes and a pretty smile might i add...i continued down the hallway and i seen my bestfriend/sister shyanna..
me-hey shay-shay
shay-hey gurl where u bout to go
me-i wanna go home but u know how mama is
shay-yea she will tear dat ass up
me-whateva but do u know this boy name shawn
shay-pretty eyes and pretty smile that go by pretty boy shawn
me-i guess thats him
shay-yea y
me-no reason i just wanted to know
shay-awww thats so sweet
me-what
shay-u got a crush on him
me(blushin) no i dont have a crush on him i just met him
shany-love at first sight aint that cute
END
those use to be the good old days you can't tell now by the way things are looking. I was sittin at his house on the first day i found out i was pregnant. I was sittin up at 3 in the lorning waitin for him to come in and when he did thats when i started cryin...
shawn-whats wrong wit u and dont u pose to be sleep by now
me-shawn (sniff) i have something to tell you
shanw-what
me-can you sit down
shawn-gurl just tell me i aint got time for all that nowwhat u got to tell me
me-i'm 2 1/2 months pregnant
shawn-aint like it's mines no way so why u tellin me that for
me- shawn baby it is yours you was the only nigga i was fuckin
shawn-i dont believe it becuz like three months ago u was at the club all up in some nigga face givin him a lap dance
me-ok and thats how i was makin my money that was my job to seduce nigga'z to get paid and like u aint enjoy lookin at me move my hips when u went down and plus it aint like i fucked him
shawn-whateva get out my face and u sleepin down here tonight
me-what shawn dont do this baby
shawn-dont call me that i'm not your baby no more
He walked upstairs and left me in tears. That night i coudln't sleep i went in the room and he was on the phone. He looked at me with this look that could kill. _________________ R.I.P
After he looked at me i just excused my self and grabbed my stuff while i was leavin. I was walkin down the street on my way to my aunt's house and i was walkin with a drawstring bookbag on and had a lil rolling bookbag draggin behind me. I looked behind me with tears in my eyes until i seen head lights comin closer to me. i walked around the corner and the car followed then it stopped beside me. Guess who shawn...
me-(tears just runnin) what do u want after u dogged me and called me a whore
shawn-look ok i aint got time forthis and i damn sure aint in the mood right now get in the car
me-i'm ok i can walk that's what GOD gave me legs for
shawn-look gurl just get in i aint bout to have u walkin late like this i'll let u stay at my house til it get daylight then u can go on bout yo business
me-dont worry about me okay
shawn-dont make me get out and put o lil ass in the car
me-shawn just leave me alone ok u don't want anything to do with me no more i can tell so just leave me alone please (broke down again)
shanw(ths) fuck (to me) come on gurl
I started walkin again and i wasn't that far becuz he grabbed me and dragged me to the car and locked me in the back seat with the child locks on the door and he put my bags in the trunk then pulled off.......
me-why u do this to me
shawn-dont start
me-u know i love u so why u take my heart from me and just broke it
shawn-look woman ok please shut the hell up or imma do somethin imma regret
me-what u gon' hit me first u hurt me to where i dont wanan live for nothin else then u wanna hit me
shawn-i didn't do it yet but u drivin me to it now shut the hell up!!!!!!!
I just sat baq and cried we were still drivin to where i dont know but then we stopped i looked around and all i seen was abandoned homes and he walked to one and this guy met up with him i guess they were exchangin drugs and money then he got back in and looked at me then rolled his eyes.On the way back i fell asleep...
shawn-aye wake yo ass up yo shit in the house already so get up and walk yo ass in there
me-(half sleep) stop yellin at me ok
shawn-whateva
me-can u help me i feel dizzy
shawn-no u can make it
Before i got to the first step to the porch i feel....
shawn-damn (pickin me up takin me in the house)
a few mins. later i felt a whole lot of water bein throwed on me
me-(yellin) what the fuck is wrong with you why would you do that
shawn-becuz i felt like it u got a problem with it
me-no
shawn-thats what i thought
(tms) i can't wait til daylight comes
i went in the bathroom and dried off and put on some dry clothes and went to sleep. Finally when i woke up he wasn't there thank goodness so i went in the bathroom and found a note
NOTE:
look i went to make a run and when i get back i dont wanna see you or yo stuff so by the time u readthis i should be leavin where i'm at so be gone in like 30 mins.
shawn
p.s: i got me a new gurl
END
why would u leave sumthing like this. i packed my shit after doin what i had to and left while i was walkin i seen this boy named joe so he walked to me
me-dont talk to me i'm not in the mood for yo jokes
joe-i wasn't even about to joke on you today i was bout to ask where u goin so i could take u
me-well i'm goin to my auntie house
joe-come on
he drove me there but before i got out he asked me
joe-what u doin tonight
me-nothin but cry my self to sleep
joe-y
me-oh u dont know well ask shawn about it
joe-never mind but he's my number and be ready by 7:30 ok imma come get u but call me at 4 ok
me-yea yea
joe-i see where u stayin at so u betta call
me-ok i will
i walked to the door and he sped off i looked around the quiet neighborhood then the door opened
me-hey auntie cheryl
cheryl-hey baby come on in and tell me what happened
me-ok
i got settled and i told her everything that happened
cheryl-thats not right baby not at all and u can stay here until u have the baby and stay here til the baby start walkin u should be on your feet by then
me-ok auntie
cheryl-yes sweety
me-thank you
cheryl-oh u dont have to thank me u are welcome here anytime ok
me-ok
cheryl-now go and get yourself together we goin out tonight
me-ummm auntie i cant becuz i kinda have plans
cheryl-well excuse the hell out of me then tomorrow ok
me-ok
i went to sleep and when i got up it was 4:30 so i called joe
joe-what up
me-hey joe
joe-hey i told u to call me at 4
me-i'm sorry i fell asleep ok
joe-yea yea well i heard bout u and shawn
me-please dont say his name to me
joe-oh well when u goin baq to work
me-i dont know i dont wanna work there anymore i been workin there since i turned 15 i dont wanna be there no more imma get a real job
joe-oh ok well get pretty tonight ok becuz we goin to the club
me-what club
joe-where do i dance at
me-i dont wanna see u dance boy
joe-wuteva tonight is a special night so i want u to be the sexiest chick there and please dont have yo hair in a bun wear it down for me ok
me-wuteva
i got off the phone and hopped in the shower then started gettin ready that is until my auntie son ramone busted in _________________ R.I.P
me-what the hell is wrong with bustin in get out
ramone-shut up lil gurl aint like i haven't seen u naked before
me-ok that was when we was 3 and 4 when they use to give us bath's together i aint have nothin to show and u didn't either might i add now out AUNTIE!!!!!!!
ramone-ok damn
i see i'm not going to like it here already. i finished gettin ready i wore my hair down in big body curls(spiral) and wore a black dress that was a little above my knees and wore some black open toe heels. by the time i was done my phone rung and it was him...
me-hey joe
joe-aye u betta be lookin good ok
me-trust me i am
joe-come down i'm here
me-ok
i did the finishin touches and walked downstairs and my aunt came to say something
cheryl-now u know better then to where some heels while u are pregnant
me-it's only this one time please
cheryl-dont come hoime complainin bout how yo feet hurt
me-ok love you
i hopped in the car and he drove off it was only lik 8:00 now when we stopped at Olive Garden....
me-why we here
joe-aint you hungry i know i am
me-yea i oculd use something to eat
joe-ok good
he opened the door for me and held my hand as we went through the door
me-why are u holding my hand
joe-becuz i want the nigga'z to be jealous becuz i got u and they dont
me-boy u dont have me ok
joe-not yet but before the night is over i will
me-we'll see
we sat at our table and he started up
joe-so what exactly happened that night i only heard bit's and pieces
me-i dont want to talk about that
joe-ok well do u like me
me-what kind of question is that
joe-a question that i would like to know the answer to
me-well i like u as a friend
joe-ok i like u as a friend to but i would also like to see if we could be more
me-it takes time ok we have to like get to know each other more like whats your favorite food type of level before that
joe-i understand
waiter-may i take your order(lookin at joe with a seductive eye candy type of look)
me-i would like to have a grilled chicken salad with ranch dressing and some water please
waiter-ok and you sir (tryin to sound sexy)
joe-first of all dude i'm not gay so u can prance ya lil ass on to somebody else but u can bring me a what she's having
waiter-uh whatever your order will be up in a few minutes and i will bring your water to you
he switched off and i just had to laugh
me-(mockin him)whatever
joe-you silly
me-i know i am
our food came and we ate then left to go to the club when we got there he had me walk through the back with him
me-i dont want to go this way
joe-well i'm lookin out for the baby mama
me-whateva
joe-girl just come on they not gon' mess with you
me-bet not becuz i carry a pocket knife and mase
joe-dang self defensive ass
me-i have to be
we went through the back and wasn't nobody in the audience but a few lady's and joe told me to sit in the front i didn't know why but i did.A few Minuteslater everybody was comin in and the show started
dj-aiight how many of my lady's wanna see they favorite man get down tonight
crowd-woo woo yeah
me-(tms) damn shame
dj-alright alright first comin to the stage we have the candyboyz
crowd-(goin wild)
they danced then summo people it was like 11:45 then...
dj-now lady's we got sumthing a lil special tonight here we have chocolate thunder
then when i looked joe came out in his outfit and was dancin to silk meeting in my bedroom. he was rollin his hips and grindin on the floor imma admit he was workin it then he was searchin the crowd and looked at me then started walkin towards me.when he got to me he grabbedmy hand and pulledme on the stage and started rollin on me and poppin to the beat then he went and pulled out a chair and told me to sit down
me-no no no(shakin my head) no
lady-gurl gone head and sit down if u dont i will
me-laughin
i sat down and he start givin me a lap dance and then he went down and put my legs over his shoulders like he was eatin me out and he picked me up and started movin like he was fuckin me and then he turned me around and bent me ova the chair
me-omg i can't believe this (coverin my face and smilin')
then he sat me back down in the chair and and rolled on me some more and he ended it by givin me a kiss on my cheek....
joe-u owe me (grabbin my hand)
me-no i dont
joe-we'll talk after the show (lettin my hand go slowly)
i sat back down andthen some ladys started talkin to me
lady1-omg u are so lucky to get a lap dance from him i wish was you right about now
lady2-u go gurl and u a pretty lil thang to u special
lady3-i'm jealous (lol)
me-(snickers)
after the show i walked out front and he was waitin for me at the door
joe-so how u enjoy it
me-u was alright
joe-alright gurl i had u mezmerized u should have seen your self (mocking me) omg i can't believe this
me-what ever
joe-so where we headed now
me-i want to go home
joe-ok so i call u later baby
me-what u call me
joe-what u talkin bout
me-u just called me baby
joe-gurl u hearin stuff
he drove me to the house and before i got out
joe-hey shantel
me-yes
joe-ummm would u like to go out on a real date with me maybe around next week sometime
me-i'll call u and let you know
joe-be sure to do that
me-dont worry i will
i got out and went in the house and he drove off after makin sure i was in safely i could not stop thinkin about him after that night let's see what should i do call him to let him know or what. I figure the answer out i guess i'll just ask my aunt.....
please comment and bump please _________________ R.I.P
i walked in the bathroom and took a shower and put my p.j's on and went to sleep..as soon as i got into a good sleep my phone wanted to ring it was a number i did not want to see again....
me-what do u want shawn
shawn-so i heard u and joe was talkin now
me-if we was why u worried about it atleast i know he would be there for me atleast from what i see so far
shawn-girl u betta stop livin in fairy land he only want u for your goods
me-oh like u wanted me for
shawn-i loved u but u messed it up for your-self
me-no u messed it up for yo-self u dont know what u are missing u let go of something that was god and special to you but u just dont see it (click)
after i hung up on him he called right back but i didn't answer so i turned my phone off and went back to sleep.the next morning ramone came yellin and screamin..
ramone-aye gurl i know u up so get up before i make u get up
me-(still sleepy) leave me the fuck alone
ramone-(grabbin me and gettin on top of me) get up before i make you
me-(up) get the hell off of me damn u lil nasty bastard
ramone-yea thats what i thought (gettin up) my mama come eat
he left out and i went in the bathroom and did what i had to and went downstairs to eat...
me-hey auntie cheryl
cheryl-u make me sound old just call me mama
me-ok .....mama
cheryl-u know that lil boy like u
me-who
cheryl-my child
me-i figured that but he my cuzin
cheryl-he not yo real cousin he's my sister bestfriend child
me-so u mean to tell me that we aint related in no type of way
cheryl-yes
me-then y he stayin with u
cheryl-becuz my sister couldn't take him in his mother asked if she could keep him when he was twelve for about three months and then she died a week after in a plane crash so i just told the family to sign him over to me and he been with me every since and started callin me mama
me-o wow i didn't know it was like that for him
ramone-hey mama can i go to the mall
cheryl-take shantel with you
ramone-ok come on
me-u gotta wait until i get ready
i went upstairs and did my hair i put it in a bun and put on some black pants and a black and white button up and put on the jacket that went with the pants and grabbed my black purse and celly then went downstairs
ramone-took u long enough
me-whatever come on
we got in his car and he started drivin
me-remember to drive safely because there is a pregnant gurl in the car
ramone-i know and dont be tellin me how to drive woman
me-whatever
(silence)
me-so u talk to auntie sherese
ramone-naw not since nevamind
me-what tell me
ramone-not since my mother died see cheryl not my real mama she took me in when mines died in a plane crash when i was twelve
me-why she have to take u in
ramone-my other family said that they couldn't take me because they had to many problems goin on so i just asked sherese if i could stay with her and she said that cheryl could take me so i been with her every since and been callin her mama like a year later
me-o wow i'm sorry to hear that
ramone-so where is your mother at
me-i dont want to talk about it
ramone-why not tell me
me-well i got takin away from her when i was 5 and was stayin at a foster home goin fom family to family each month seem like
ramon-why they take u away
me-well she was a big time drug user and she was a stripper and one day she came home high and three guys were with her and i guess they were drug dealers or something so she pointed at me and they started to come towards me and i ran in my room and locked the door and got under my bed then they busted through the door and ........
Flashback
dealer1-aye lil girl come out we won't hurt u we just want to talk to you
dealer2-yea come out it is just gon' be a lil nice and quick conversation
dealer3-(whisperin) she under the bed
i felt big strong hand s grab my legs and pull me from under the bed and they threw me on my bed and closed my door and put a chair under the knob...
me-(screamin) mommy help please help me somebody
dealer2-shut her up
the third guy punched me and i wask knocked aint no tellin what they were gonna do to me and then finally when i got up my clothes were all ripped off of me and on the floor and i tried to move but it hurted me and i looked own and blood was all over my bed
me-mommy help somebody please (yellin at the top of my lungs) somebody help me please
someone came runnin in and it was the neighbor she grabbed me and took me to her house after wrapping me up in some sheets and layed me on her bed and ran bath water and put me in
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