Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 8:45 pm Post subject: The Color of Love.
"Your fuckin mother does not like me. She told me that there is NO way me and you are going to be together. I mean what's the point of trying she hates me?" It was so hard for me to stay at home alone while Jason was gone on the road. "Calm down Tara it's cool, you know how mama be actin she been like that since you've known her." I was tired of arguing with Jason about this shit. It was the last straw, "Listen baby if your mom can't respect me I'm gone." Before Jason could respond I hung up the phone and went into our bedroom. I had to get ready for work. At STYLZ being late was not an option. My manager Tanisha would go off. I was stylist of the month so I had to live up to the title. I rushed into the shower and washed my body slowly and thoroughly. As I was washing my hair I heard the phone ringing loud. I knew it was Jason so I ignored it. I heard the machine pick up as I exited the shower. It was NOT Jason it was my sister Mya. She wasn't my actual sister, but we had the same foster parents and we were basically all we had. It had only been 4 years since I was in foster care. I thought she forgot all about me since I did leave her.
~Hey Tara is Mya just trying to get in touch with you, Mr. Wallace died and his funeral is next Tuesday at 12 noon at Greater Faith Baptist. I know he loved you dearly and I know you wouldn't want to miss this. His heart failed during surgery. But Mrs. Wallace is holding in there. Call me 517-621-," I picked up the phone before Mya hung up.
Hello
Hey Tara, I thought you were gone to work already.
Mya, Mya, Mya! I was on my way but I heard your message. I can't believe Mr. Wallace died that was MY DADDY, hell OUR DADDY!"
I could feel the tears build up in my eyes. I wasn't going to cry though I made myself a promise when my mom left me at the bus stop when I was 7 that I would NEVER cry again. Mya questioned me which brought out of my daydreaming. " You coming to the funeral Tara? You better." I didn't want to tell my sister but I no longer stayed in Jersey. I moved down South with Jason when I was 18. "I really want to come sis, but-" Tara listen to me all they did for us? All they did and you want to give excuses why you can't come to papi's funeral. That's cool. I'll talk to you later. Love you." *CLICK* She hung up before I could defend myself. I let my sister down one too many times. I left her when I was 18 she was only 16, I moved all the way to Miami and never looked back. I finished getting ready for work and looked at the clock I was actually 30 mins early. "Good job Tara," I told myself as I grabbed my keys and purse. Off to another day at the salon, but I have to stop and get some Starbuck's first. I could tell it was going to be a long day.
I walked into the shop and had my client waiting on me. I told her to give me a minute to wash my hands and get the spa ready. I hated working on feet, but it paid the bills. I wish I could do NAILS ONLY. As soon as I finished running the water in the spa I told Ms. Nicole to come on back. Tanisha stepped out of her office and told me to come her NOW. I sat Ms. Nicole down and walked into the office.
Tanisha: How you doing today Ra Ra?
Ra Ra was the nickname she gave me when I stated working there. She said Tara didn't have enought flava for her. She was so unpredictable. Everyone said she showed me favoritism because I was a little white girl. I ignored it, I knew for a FACT I did the BEST nails in South Miami...PERIOD.
Tara: I'm good just living this thing called life. I found out today my father passed and I needed some time off to attend the funeral and things like that. Would that be a problem?
Tanisha: I'm so sorry to hear that Ra Ra. How much time you need?
Tara: About a week, I need to get back up to Jersey and make sure my little sister was taken care of she is only 20 years old.
Tanisha: I completely understand. Once you finish with Ms. Nicole you can go ahead and leave. Did you need your check mailed to Jersey or what?
Tara: Go ahead and direct deposit it and thank you again Tanisha!
Tanisha: You are more than welcome. Now go do the damn thing. FEET LADY....
I laughed my way out of her door. When I turned around all the stylist were looking at me. "Hey ladies..."
"what's up white chocolate?"
"what's good Paris Hilton"
"hey white girl"
What is it with people they act like they ain't never seen a white girl before. I hate that they treat me so different. I am just like everyone elso HUMAN. I finished up Ms. Nicole and was going to leave early, but Tanisha needed me to stay until she got off of lunch. I was waiting around when I seen Jason's Lexus Truck pull up. He parked right in front of the shop.
He walked in the shop and all the ladies were staring, "Hey Jason, Tara is in the back." Yoland said in the sexiest voice she could make. " Thanks Yoland, why you talking like that? You about to lose your voice?" Jason walked off and met me half way with a kiss, "Hey baby," he grabbed me by the waist. "I missed you too much Jason, don't leave me again." I laid my head on his chest, he smelled like Armani, "baby let's go in Tanisha's office so we can talk. We walked into the office and I could hear the girls hating as I closed the door.
Tara: Baby, you look so good! I want to take you right here, right now (laughing) But on a serious note, my father died. I have to go back to Jersey for the funeral and everything. I'm leaving tomorrow morning. I just wanted to sit you down and let you know.
The tears were begining to fill in my eyes again. I could not fight it this time.
Jason: I know if hard, but Tara you have to be strong for your family. You need any money to get up there or anything?
Tara: No I already got my ticket online and I have money. I told you I don't like you spending all your money on me. I'm not with you for money LIKE SOME GIRLS! I am in it for LOVE. I love you Jason and you know that, but if your mom calls me a "WHITE BITCH" one more time it's gone be on. I have NEVER disrespected your mother. I am not racist. Hell, my foster family was black. It's just a fucking color. I don't try to be nothing but myself.
Jason: Tara you know how my mama is. She just ain't really feelin white girls, but I'm feelin you and dats' all that matters.
Jason leaned over and kissed me deeply. I think he was trying to keep my mind off of his mom. But the fact was Jason is a "mama's boy" and I'm scared he will do whatever his mom tells him. I kissed him back before opening the door to the loud knocking. It was Yolanda, one of my many haters in the shop, "Tanisha said she needs you." I walked out of the office with Jason's left hand atttached to my right. Tanisha was sitting at the receptionist desk looking over the appointment book. "Tara, I rescheduled all of your appointments and your clients aren't too mad." "Thanks again Tanisha I really appreciate all the help." I was so appreciative that Jason was Tanisha's cousin. She paid me WAY more than any other stylist or nail tech, I had paid time off ALL THE TIME, vacations, and extended lunches, breaks, and she always let me leave early. Tanisha loved me so much because I was a WHITE nail tech. She said that was rare for Miami. I do everyone's nails in South Miami and that brought Tanisha a lot of business. I packed up all my things and was getting ready to walk out the salon when *BOOM* Jason's mom was walking in...
Tanisha turned to the door and greeted her Aunt, "hey Auntie Jackie. You are early for your wax." Jackie smiled and said, "girl you know I have to get to the shop early just so I won't be in here all night." They all laughed and Jason walked over to hug his mom. She moved away before he could touch her. Jason already knew she was mad because he came to see me at work. I thought to myself "how can you be that way to your son?" I walked out of the door and left Jason there to talk to his mother. By time I reached my car in the parking garage across the street my cell phone was ringing...it was Jason.
T-Hey
J-Where you run to?
T-My car
J- Damn you ain't have to leave me
T- I didn't think I left you I thought you were going to stay up your mom's ass.
J- Watch your mouth Tara, you always got some slick shit to say.
T- Good- bye Jason I will see you when I get home later.
J- Where you about to go?
T- I'm going to get some fresh air with Jess.
J- I'm going to cookout tonight so bring her over and I will tell Chad to come too. Cool?
T- yeah. Bye *click*
I wasn't trying to hear anything Jason had to say.
Last edited by drenna on Thu Jun 05, 2008 4:19 pm; edited 2 times in total
I texted Jess' phone as I pulled into her apartment complex. She was already walking outside. She was a beautiful Puerto Rican/Cuban woman who was born and raised in Miami. We met the first day I moved down here at the bar she was getting over her deceased husband, who was killed in Hurricane Rita and I was missing my sister so much. We started talking and it went from there. We now have been best friends for 4 years. I wouldn't trade her for the world.
" Que Pasa Mami," Jess yelled out as soon as she hopped in the passenger seat. "What you been doing all day Tara?" her accent was so strong sometime I barely understood what she was saying. "I've been working and trying to get ready to go out of town for my father's funeral." Jess just stared at me, she never heard me talk about parents, and she was shocked. "Oh I'm so sorry to hear that T I know how hard that can be when Mike died I didn't want to go on, but I had to. I just had to." Everytime Jess talked about Mike she would get ver emotional. I wanted to get things off my mind so we decided to go to South Miami Beach and chill out. Jess' family owned a beach house out there so Jess and I went inside and changed into our bathing suits. I out on tanning lotion and went onto the balcony. Jess came out about 10 minutes later with a blunt to her mouth. "Wow, I wish you would have told me earlier you wanted to get me high. You know Jason hates it when I smoke." Jess laughed as she lit the tip of the cigar. "What he don't know will never hurt him. Or maybe it will...." We laughed, cried, joked, and just had a good time catching up. I went in to take a shower and put back on my clothes. We decided to go shopping before heading back to my house for the cookout. As we walked the strip the black girls were all rolling their eyes and bumping into us. "Damn bitch I know you see up right here," one girl yelled out. Jess and I ignored her and continued to shop. "I mean is it 2008 or 1908? Who is racist anymore? Like grow the fuck up. I have to deal with Jackie and she is SO RACIST." Jess patted me on the back, "you can't help what color you are, but you can help what you say and do...that's something Jason's mom needs to learn you can't say anything to anybody because when the tables are flipped it's going to be a problem." We finished up our shopping and was heading back to the house. I called Jason to see if he needed anything while I was out. He told me no and warned me that his mom was stopping by.
I pulled up to the house and seen that everyone was in the back yard. I walked into MY house and who was in my kitchen cooking, Jackie. "Hello Ms. Jackie." I spoke first even though this was my house she was not going to speak first. "Hi." I kept walking past her Jess just looked at her like she was crazy. We went out back and seen Chad and Jason throwing the football back and forth. "What up T, who is this fine ass girl wit u?" Chad was such a ladies man I knew he did not need an introduction.
"Chad this is my lovely best friend Jess. She resides here in Miami." Jess gave Chad a sexy look and said, "hola papi" Chad was smiling from ear to ear. We all sat at the table and began to drink and play spades. Jackie kept bringing the drinks for Chad, Jess, and Jason but not for me. When I went in the house to get a refill Jackie was layin all over the couch. Without getting smart I asked her if she would mine going into the guest room. It was HUGE with a balcony and 2 couches. "Tara don't fucking test me, I am not going into that hot ass room." "Ok, Ms Jackie DON' T GO, BUT GET YOUR CRUSTY ASS FEET OFF MY COUCH. I have tried to be nice to your ass but all you want to do is complain and act like I owe you something." Jackie knew Tara was not joking at this point. "Watch your mouth. Do you know my son will put you out if I told him how you just talked to me? Do you?" Tara sized Jackie up and then back down, "you don't have to worry about that." Jason walked in the house as soon as the argument was over. "Hey ma, them baked beans done yet?" Jackie acted like nothing just happened, "yes baby just give them a little minute to simmer." Jason walked up the stairs from the kitchen to his room to use the restroom, he was stopped in his tracks when he heard Tara on the phone, "Mommy I don't know what to do you and dad never judged anyone based on his skin color. Hell all of us are different races. I'm coming home for good." Jason walked in the bedroom like he did not hear a thing. _________________ "It's Me...."
Last edited by drenna on Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:54 pm; edited 5 times in total
I woke up aroung 6:15 am to find Jason in the shower. "Where are you headed babe," I asked him as I opened the door to the bathroom. "I have a meeting at 9 I needed to get in and out of the shower before I took you to the airport." I walked out of the bathroom after hearing his response. I drove to Starbucks and picked us up some coffee to get the day started. When I got back home Jason was fixing breakfast and I sat the coffee down and went to take a shower. After packing and getting dressed I went into the kitchen to eat. "So when you going home for good, because if you are leaving today get all of your shit don't wait." I was in total shock. How did he know I wanted to go home for good. "It's not that baby, it's your mom it's like she is running our relationship." Jason snapped, "are you fucking me or my mama?" I didn't know how to respond to that question. I mean of course I was fucking him, but his mom was not going to allow us to take it to the next level. "What about marriage Jason? What about your mom's take on that?" Jason didn't want to marry me and I knew that. I overheard him talking with his boys on how we were going to be together forever with NO rings. "Tara you know right now is not the time for us to get married." Jason stared at me until I got up from the table, "I'm ready." We placed all of my bags in the back of his truck. When jumped on the interstate and about 25 minutes later we pulled into the Miami International Airport. Jason helped me get my things and then he tried to kiss me. "Wait Jason, don't you think kissing is for people in love, and wouldn't you say people in love get married?" Jason laughed it off and grabbed my face. After a long passionate kiss he whispered in my ear, "I love you baby, and you better come home." I boarded the plane, took my seat, and stared out the window. As the plane took off my mind wondered back to my childhood.
My "biological" mom Tiffany gave birth to me when she just turned 16. Her mom put her out and she moved in with my "biological" father Travis who was a heavy Meth user. Everything was going great, but when I turned 5 things changed. My father would be gone for months at a time, and my mom really didn't know how to raise a child, she was a child herself. One night my mom put me in the bed and she left, when I woke up that morning no one was there. I went into the kitchen and made myself some cereal and watch cartoons. I knew not to go out the house and not to open the door for anyone. It was almost bed time and I was starving I hadn't had anything to eat all day besides the cereal that morning. When I went to sleep I had a dream that I was there alone forever no one ever came to get me. When I woke up the next morning I was exhausted, my body was barely moving, and my stomach was killing me. I ignored everything my mom and dad ever taught me. I walked to my neighbors house, rung the doorbell, and they let me in. "Where are your parents Tara?," Mrs Shelly asked. "I done know, I'm hungry." Mrs Shelly made me some food and all I remember after that was the police coming and picking me up. When I got to the police station they asked me about my family and I really did not know how to answer those questions. It was only me. my mom, and dad. My grandparents never knew me because my parents did not like them. I stayed with Mrs Shelly for about 2 years and then I was placed in foster care. My first day at the home was the worst. The kids just stared at me, no one wanted to be my friend. About 2 days later I met Mya, she a regular. Her mom would come get her and then bring her back. We became friends and the rest is history. She is one person I would never let go. I opened my eyes to see the flight attendant standing over me, "we have arrived sleeping beauty." I stretch and rose from my seat. I seen Mya as soon as I walked into the airport. "MYA!!!!!' "TARA!!!!!" we embraced each other with a hug and a kiss on the check. She has grown so much.
I could not stop staring at Mya, when I left her at 16 she did NOT look like this. _________________ "It's Me...."
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